For Joseph -- R.I.P.

 

 

 

 

For Joseph - R.I.P.

 

by

 

Dawn Pisturino

 

You lay in your coffin

Like a big wax doll,

Your skin shiny and cold,

A cold like I never felt before.

 

And where is the warmth?

And where is the laughter?

I did not love you, no,

But I never wished for this.

 

One day you were there, and we were fighting;

The next moment, you were gone,

Only a shadow of what came before,

A shadow forever lost in endless night.

 

I did not love you, no,

But I never wished for this.

 

Flowers surround you like colorful sentinels,

Giving off a sickening odor of sweet life,

And you cannot see them or smell them.

Did you feel your daughter's kiss, given so tenderly in love,

Or see your son's tears flowing silently down his cheeks?

We were a family, though separated,

And we shared many instances of joy:

The marriage in the chapel,

The birth of a grandchild,

The baptismal waters before the altar of God.

There were Christmases and Easters

And countless dinners and family get-togethers.

 

But where are you now?

We missed you last Easter,

Your loud laugh, your vulgar jokes,

Your drunken swagger.

You had your vices and your sins,

But there were times when you helped us,

And we were grateful.

 

Did we ever help you?

Or did we run away and hide,

Like bad children always do.

 

You lay in your coffin

Like a big wax doll and I wonder,

Were you ever real at all?

 

1985